Back to the 'bus'ics...

I’m back at the bus conference, only this time it’s specifically for vendors and folks selling things to transportation directors. You can find me in between the mirrors and flashing lights. I’m the one on the laptop fighting to stay awake. Thank god for wireless net.

Since I’ve been able to blend in, I’ve also been able to get a peek at quite a few folks. Here are a few of the folks I’ve took notice of.

Blackberry Bandit – this is the guy who can’t go anywhere without his phone. I recognize the phone from my last trip. If he is that important, then he doesn’t have time to be here in the first place. You don’t have to get up and leave the room every ten minutes with your phone near your ear. Just stay outside or better yet, stay home.

Bluetooth Betty – a close relative to the bandit, only the phone is in the ear – all the time. I don’t believe they were invented to serve as an accessory piece. You’re not driving, and you look dumb.

Let Loose Lewis – This is the guy that never gets out. You know, that guy that gets within five yards of other humans and goes crazy. He knows absolutely no social cues and has the personality only Bessie the cow understands.

Overdressed Olivia and Otis – The conference said nothing about ‘black tie’, yet some decided to bust out the better than Sunday best. A suit and tie is not necessary. We get it – you’re important. This also applies to the ladies in the area. You do not need the little black cocktail dress to attend a meeting about safely removing students from a burning bus. Also, the hooker boots to your knees don’t exactly ‘go’ with the outfit. One more thing, you’re not that good at flirting. It shouldn’t be that blatantly obvious.

The silent fog dropper – I can’t smell, but I can hear. Farting in a crowd is not the best strategy to making friends. And, it wasn’t your shoes.

Buffet Boris – I lost my appetite when the hacking cough guy hacked all over the lunch buffet. I know I wasn’t the only one who noticed, but I seem to be the only one that passed on the pasta plate full of pig flu.

Intense Iris – Take a Valium, really, it’ll do us all a favor. This lady reminded me of a rat on crack ready to run the maze. Even the beady eyes freaked me out.

Can’t dress Tess – The polar opposite of Olivia and Otis, this attendee needs to invest in a mirror – or maybe glasses. Self explanatory here, get some friends lady.