Adventures in second grade...

I realized today that kids aren't stupid. They just lack common sense.

Granted, at age 7 common sense hasn't always developed - in a nutshell they lack listening skills.

In reading groups today we had a worksheet that talked about references - the places we look for information. It was the most entertainment I've had all week.

"Let's talk about reference materials," I said in my best second grade voice.

Blank stares.

"Do any of you know what an atlas is?" I asked, glancing at each one as I internally wondering how I was going to water down the material. "Okay, so how about a phone book. Do you know what a phone book is?"

A couple nods, and one kid with his finger up his nose. I reached over and pulled the chubby finger from the nostril and smiled. Then a little girl piped up, "we have one, it's big and my little brother sits on it to eat at the table."

I could see where this lesson was going. Nowhere.

We struggled through each one. We talked about a globe (they knew what that was); card catalog (they got that one only after I said the computer in the library with all the books on it); almanac (no clue) and an atlas (once I explained it).

When we got to the almanac we started calling it a yearbook, because the word almanac blew their little minds. They were just on overload. Then we talked about the atlas. "It's a bunch of maps in one book," I tried to explain.

"My grandma has a map of Kansas, we fold it," he looked at me. I looked at his Mohawk and then back down at him and smiled.

"Close," I nodded. "If you had all fifty states and stapled them all together - you'd have yourself an atlas."

"Cool." That was the response I got.

The last question on the worksheet was simple. If you wanted to find Italy where are two places you could look? This question sounds simple - I barely made it through the end of group.

"What two references would we use to find Italy?" I asked.

"I think that's in France," he looked at me. "Yeah, I'm sure it's in France."

I repeated the question again. "Where would you find Italy?"

"Thuuuuuu," pause. "Woods?"

I wanted to beat my head against the table.

"Let me rephrase it," I took a deep breath. "What are two references used to find Italy on the map?" Notice, I threw in 'map'.

"Helicopter, I bet you could find it with a helicopter."

Sweet Jesus. "No, out of these choices," I pointed to the word bank. "What would we use to find Italy?"

Blank stares in return.

"How about a globe? Can you find things on a globe?" They nodded. "How about maps?" They nodded. "What, out of these words, has maps in it?"

"An atlas?" They seemed confused.

"Yes, write down globe and atlas. Those are the two answers."

They asked me how to spell them - they were in the word bank...

The little bell to move groups couldn't have come fast enough.