It's expo time...

Conventions and conferences are not only a great way to drain a BlackBerry battery, they're an excellent opportunity to observe people - who don't always realize they are being watched.

One of my favorite things to do when I attend trade shows, expos, conferences and conventions is to sit back and take in the scenery. It's a great social experiment and to be honest gives me some of my best material. Here are some observations from my trip over to the metro area today. These are literally hot off the press.

Sometimes I even wonder if people look at me and get material the same way I do...

Blinking logos are an awesome trinket for a trade show. People love flashy things, as they often take them down memory lane to college holidays celebrated in bars - St. Patty's Day, Halloween and Saturdays. The blinking lights are a great way to bring attention to a logo, however, they should never be worn on a lanyard directly centered between double D's, unless of course that's what you were going for.

Before sending representatives to conferences it's always a good idea to school them in basic etiquette. It is never okay to yell, "Hey, Senorita!" when trying to get a glass of water from the wait staff - unless you're in Mexico. Which we were not.

When giving out door prizes, actually have door prizes to give.

Cross check and edit - these skills are good practice everyday, not just in the professional world.

Don't tell a booth their product sucks. That makes you an ass. Save face and just keep moving.

The best part of shows and expos is the fashion. There is a plethora of do's and do not's - more do not's seem to pop up though.

Wondering around aimlessly usually gets you stereotyped as 'that guy' or 'that creepy guy, what is he doing?' Have a mission. It's okay to look, never okay to silently linger.

Games at shows that encourage participation to get a prize are lame. Unless giving away televisions, cars or significant sums of money, don't bother. It's more a hassle than it's worth and to be honest doesn't really bring folks to the booths to talk about the products. They only want one thing - tickets or stamps and could care less about what you're selling or promoting. Telling the booths to make them work for it - even lamer yet.

When putting out food or coffee there is a good chance you will be trampled. Best watch your ass. Come ten o'clock, it's coffee time and it doesn't matter who or what folks have to stomp over to get it.

When winning a door prize refrain from yelling, "What the sam hell is an iPod Shuffle? Hells bells why can't I win something I'll use." Sir, the economy is bad enough. Be happy you have your little door prize and shut your mouth. If you want something you could use - next time I'll make sure my booth donates couth and social decency.

Christmas shopping at a trade show is the fastest way to be labeled by the family as 'a little nutty' or 'flat ass crazy'. You can just hear that Christmas morning - "Wow, wonder what 'nutty nana' got us this year?" Chances are it's a yardstick, blinking light logos, pens or the ever popular flimsy shoulder bag in royal blue or victory red.