Resolving to, oh forget it...

Let's be honest here. Making New Years resolutions is a set up for personal failure. Seven times out of 10, resolutions are made under the influence as you cry in your beverage about how the year sucked and none of the resolutions you set 364 days ago even made it to the end of the January.

I don't know if I've ever really made resolutions. To be honest they're kind of like confession. You say you're not going to use profanity, but you swear as you shut your hand in the church door.

Nonetheless here are five of the top resolutions made each year and why they are destined to fail.

I resolve to lose some weight- This is the worst resolution, and it often comes as you shove cold pizza down your gullet after a night of binging with your friends. It mostly goes like this...

"Can you believe we ate this whole pizza?"

"Oh, God."

"We gotta eat better. I resolve to eat better to lose weight."

"Where do you wanna grab lunch?"

"I don't care, Burger King is right down the street and they have a drive-thru because look at me - I'm not getting out of the car."

Sidenote:I totally blame Girl Scouts for blowing this resolution for most people. Seriously, selling your cookies in January? Come on - you little people peddling sweet treats are the reason most people make this resolution. Oh, but thanks for those "reduced fat" options - because we all know snarfing down an entire box of those is MUCH better...

I resolve to do exercise more - come on, really? You just drove through Burger King because you were too lazy to even get out of the car. Like you're going to drag your butt to a gym.

I resolve to be nicer to people - this one lasts until you get back to work and realize the reason you thought you needed to make the resolution in the first place. Just resolve to speak softer so nobody can actually hear you cussing your co-workers.

I resolve to save money - forget it. Enjoy it before the government and half the country use it for their own enjoyment.

I resolve to do better at living within my means - See above.

If making resolutions somehow makes you feel better about yourself, then by all means, set yourself up for disappointment this 2011.