DIY...

There was a time in my life I wanted to be Martha Stewart, but I realized that I want people to like me, and I don’t really “do” ankle bracelets.

I also don’t have that kind of time.  And, I have a hard time keeping plants alive – ironic, because for two years my job was to keep plants alive – I think it’s the water here. At least that’s what I’m telling myself because it seems like a good theory…

Here’s a theory – DIY Projects are only done by stay at home Mom’s with a nanny.

There is no way a Mom with any number of children has the peace and quiet, or state of mind to pull off some of the types of projects you see in magazines, online and on television. There is also no way any woman working a 40-plus hour work week has the mind capacity to pull off the type of creativity displayed on the DIY channel. It just doesn’t happen.

Sidenote: Before I get hate mail, let me just say that I’m using women here as an example. I realize that men and women are equal, blah, blah, blah and yes, men do stay home with the kids and have domestic roles. They also work full weeks and have creative minds. That being said, I just don’t know any men that do at-home projects like making a coin purse or iPod holder out of a damn soda bottle for a cute gift. Do you? I digress.

There’s an example I’ll use. The coin purse/iPod holder soda bottle. You cut up a soda bottle, sew in a zipper and you’ve got a gift. Great idea, but let’s look at logistics for a moment and why this is virtually impossible for a career woman or working mother.

Working all day sucks all the energy out of a body. Having to be “on” all day is draining and the the last thing I would think about when heading home after a 12 hour workday is “wow, I wonder what I can do with this soda bottle that I practically licked clean to make sure I got every drop of caffeine.” 

Let’s be honest I’m not even recycling it, I’m tossing it in the trash.

If you have kids it’s even worse. Not only do you not have the energy to think about the bottle in any way other than garbage, you have a child (or multiple children) hanging around.

 “Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom, Mom.”

“WHAT!” Mom yells back as she searches for keys so that the family car can be fired up to drive nine different places within a three hour time frame.

“I need a dozen cookies tomorrow for the bake sale, here’s the note that’s been shoved in my backpack for two weeks. Oh, and I need $20 for a tee shirt, and can you sign this? I also have a book report due tomorrow that I’ve known about for weeks and five pages of math homework that I don’t understand and need help on.”

Mom might get to bed by midnight and the last thing on her mind is pop bottles, or crafts, or home improvement. She’s lucky to have made it through the day and in five hours it’ll repeat.

That brings me to the conclusion. The women cranking out these types of crafts have a) unlimited time in a creative environment like - home,  and b) have someone else entertaining their children.

I don’t have either – so excuse me if I just run to Wal-Mart any buy your next gift.