Inconsiderate people make my early mornings even worse.
Example one. I tried to carefully take this photo, but in hindsight I wish I would have got up and snapped it while yelling, "hey buttholes, old people are standing. Do you think you could wake your drunk ass up long enough to sit in the upright position?"I digress.
I mentioned yesterday that I'm not a huge fan of a particular airline, and today reaffirmed my loathing - but in an odd moment of "Whiskey. Tango. Foxtrot." my faith was restored. The airline, at 5:45 a.m. tells us that they have oversold the flight and need four volunteers to take a later flight. Volunteering will score you $300 in airline travel vouchers, and hey, I'm flexible. I go up to the gate agent that says, "this is great and it looks like if needed we'll get you on the 7:05 and you'll still make your connection."
I took a seat and waited patiently. Others were not so patient. I have yet to understand why people hoard the boarding area. They go like hell to get their boarding passes scanned only to be bottlenecked in the jetway. I don't get it. Where's the fire? We can't leave until they shut the door anyway. A mother dropped her daughter off and then left, only to return with a steaming Starbucks coffee and pastries.
The gate agent smiled, "Oh, you brought coffee and danishes!" she exclaimed. "How nice."
"I need this to get to my daughter, it's her coffee and danish," she said.
The look on the gate attendants face was priceless. "Oh, I see," she smiled. "I'll make sure she gets her hot chocolate."
"It's a coffee," the mother said. "She can't seem to wake up without it."
The girl was 10, 11 tops. That mom needs a beating. However, if I'm handing out beatings the first one goes across the aisle to the little brat throwing a temper tantrum, and the mom that is acting like it isn't happening. I get that in some cultures they don't believe in reprimanding children, but hey - we aren't in your country and the rest of the passengers would appreciate it if you're child wasn't raising holy hell at 6 a.m. I heard the gal behind me say, "Oh, please let him not be on my flight."
Three jerks in about 30 minutes. So far the day was started off great. I was minding my own business waiting to see if I'd score some voucher bucks when they called my name. "We don't need your seat, but I upgraded you for being so willing to help."
Lord Jesus, there are nice people in the world. That gate attendant restored my faith in the airline service industry as I sat comfortably in first class. Guess who was sitting across the row from me? That's right, the jerk who couldn't be bothered to wake up for the flight. He and his buddy (who was laying on the other side of this guy, but you can't see it in the picture) were snoring on the flight and stinking of something that can only be described as a three-day booze binge. I'm not certain, but the older guy had something on his shirt. I'm hoping it wasn't vomit, but I just can't say it wasn't.
Once the flight was in the air it was a short 45 minutes later and we were landing in Dallas. I made the leisurely walk to the Skylink to make my connection and as I sat down with my morning snack (because I'd already been up for five hours) I hear, "we've oversold this flight."
Really? I'm batting 1,000 here. So, I walked up to the gate agent and said I had flexible plans and he said if I didn't get on the flight they would give me $200 in vouchers for volunteering. The people on this flight were much nicer, or at least I thought so - until "guy too good for rules" sat down on the plane and popped his laptop open like he was some important executive.
As the flight attendant (who was on her third flight of her career) made announcements and asked for folks to turn off electronic devices everyone powered down. Everyone but the executive ego maniac who thought he was above rules. To make matters worse, the flight attendant didn't even notice. (Sidenote: that's how I know she's new. Veteran attendants can sniff electricity being used on a flight). He was too busy answering important emails to the "I'm too good for society" club that he was the president of, to bother power off his laptop and phone. What a jerk.
The girl two rows behind me was freaking out when she saw him not shutting down his devices. "Does he not get it, we could crash the plane."
The woman next to her (must have been her mom) was trying to calm her down. "No, that lady said not to do it, why won't he listen," the girl's voice was raising an octave as the freaking escalated.
I wanted to tell them both to just vacate the plane because I didn't have the tolerance for either, but I just took a deep breath and decided to not worry about it. It wasn't my problem. The flight started out fine until we got outside of Amarillo and hit a thunderstorm. The flighty chick two rows back was losing her mind.
"What was that?" she said quickly when the landing gear came down.
"Just the landing gear," her mother said calmly. A few moments later we hit turbulence.
"Oh. My. God. Why are we shaking so bad?" She asked in a fear filled voice.
"It's just wind," she was told. I know, I shouldn't make fun of her but get a grip. If we go down there is nothing you're going to do about it, so you might as well sit back and pop a Prozac. She needed a double dose.
Oh, and the people that drive those Riverboat taxis?
They are the farthest thing from jerks!
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