I've stayed in hotels where I had to actually ask a co-worker if I had glitter on me after sleeping in one of the beds, or if he thought we all smelled like hookers. We've stayed at a place that likely just got done vacuuming the chalk outlines out of the shag carpet. I've even stayed at a hotel that didn't require the use of a door. We just took the window right off the room and crawled in!
Last week I had another experience to add to the list.
It wasn't the classiest of places and it wasn't even that clean, but it had a bed and a shower. I wasn't really even in the room that much. However, I did learn something during my stay.
Did you know the little table in
between hotel beds makes a great ladder?
As I was walking back to my room at the end of the day. I could hear a little beeping noise as I got closer to my room, and when I opened the door at 12:20 a.m. I was met with a little chirp. The smoke detector was going off. Great. Just what I wanted to deal with this late. I just wanted to hit the sheets.
I figured I would just remove the battery, because that's what I would do at home. I figured wrong. Smoke detectors in hotels are actually hardwired into the wall. I was a bit deflated, but figured I could just deal with it, so I wiggled the battery a little and climbed back down to get ready for bed. It had stopped chirping, and that made me happy.
As I climbed into bed at 1:30 I started to drift off to dream land. CHIRP. I sighed. At this point I really wanted to rip it off the wall, but there's a $250 fine for tampering with them. Damn. I guess I wouldn't be ripping it out of the wall. I had to replace the battery or I wasn't going to get any sleep.
I got up and put my shoes on and went down to the front desk. A security guard was surfing the net, and the guy working the desk was playing on his phone. Oh, don't let me bother you. He at least looked up.
"Can I get a 9 volt battery for the smoke detector?"
"Sure," he said and got up and started digging through a drawer like he was at home looking for a battery. Like, a damn junk drawer. "Here."
That was it. No questions asked. No offer to help, no offer to have someone come fix it. Gee, I'm sure glad my lack of sleep isn't going to interrupt your net surfing time. I hauled it back upstairs and at 1:55 a.m. crawled back up on the table and switched out the battery. Then I hit reset and had a brief moment of panic when it sounded like I was going to set off the entire building's smoke alarms. After my adrenaline from the long beep subsided I crawled back into bed and tried to get back to sleep.
I glanced over at the clock just as my brain was processing the next morning and before my eyes drifted shut. It was 2:06 a.m. I would get at least four hours, maybe a little more if I snoozed once or twice. Breakfast was at 7:30 a.m. upsta....CHIRP.
What. The. Hell. That's right. I have now arrived at the threshold of hell.
I got up again and dug through my bag for some paper and grabbed the pen next to the light. I jotted them a note, and tried not to be a jerk. It wouldn't have helped anything. And, to be real honest I actual had to laugh, because that's what it was. Comical. I had been defeated by a smoke detector the size of a Wendy's hamburger.
I left the note (pictured) and laid down with earbuds in and music up. I could still hear the chirping. I put the pillow over my head and at least masked the chirping until I could fall asleep.
Moral of this story? Well, there really isn't one. I would just recommend you don't ever stay in dumps. Pay the extra $10 and hit up a Motel 6. The light will be on, and you may actually get a five hours of shuteye.
As I was walking back to my room at the end of the day. I could hear a little beeping noise as I got closer to my room, and when I opened the door at 12:20 a.m. I was met with a little chirp. The smoke detector was going off. Great. Just what I wanted to deal with this late. I just wanted to hit the sheets.
I figured I would just remove the battery, because that's what I would do at home. I figured wrong. Smoke detectors in hotels are actually hardwired into the wall. I was a bit deflated, but figured I could just deal with it, so I wiggled the battery a little and climbed back down to get ready for bed. It had stopped chirping, and that made me happy.
As I climbed into bed at 1:30 I started to drift off to dream land. CHIRP. I sighed. At this point I really wanted to rip it off the wall, but there's a $250 fine for tampering with them. Damn. I guess I wouldn't be ripping it out of the wall. I had to replace the battery or I wasn't going to get any sleep.
I got up and put my shoes on and went down to the front desk. A security guard was surfing the net, and the guy working the desk was playing on his phone. Oh, don't let me bother you. He at least looked up.
"Can I get a 9 volt battery for the smoke detector?"
"Sure," he said and got up and started digging through a drawer like he was at home looking for a battery. Like, a damn junk drawer. "Here."
 |
| Dear housekeeping... |
I glanced over at the clock just as my brain was processing the next morning and before my eyes drifted shut. It was 2:06 a.m. I would get at least four hours, maybe a little more if I snoozed once or twice. Breakfast was at 7:30 a.m. upsta....CHIRP.
What. The. Hell. That's right. I have now arrived at the threshold of hell.
I got up again and dug through my bag for some paper and grabbed the pen next to the light. I jotted them a note, and tried not to be a jerk. It wouldn't have helped anything. And, to be real honest I actual had to laugh, because that's what it was. Comical. I had been defeated by a smoke detector the size of a Wendy's hamburger.
I left the note (pictured) and laid down with earbuds in and music up. I could still hear the chirping. I put the pillow over my head and at least masked the chirping until I could fall asleep.
Moral of this story? Well, there really isn't one. I would just recommend you don't ever stay in dumps. Pay the extra $10 and hit up a Motel 6. The light will be on, and you may actually get a five hours of shuteye.
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