The toilet debacle...

It was supposed to be an easy fix. Something that would take less than an hour to accomplish.

I should have known better.

When I was in the process of buying the house the inspection mentioned the wax seal on the mater bath toilet needed to be replaced. I asked the previous buyers to fix this by having a licensed plumber come in and take care of this. They balked at the licensed plumber part, so I compromised and allowed them to fix it themselves.

They weren't handy. Apparently.

On my second day of dwelling inhabiting the toilet started to move every time you sat down. It wobbled and scooted. Not ideal at 3 a.m. when you're half asleep. It'll wake you up when you feel like you're going to fall off. But, I dealt. The toilet was functioning, and I was careful, but I knew I needed to have it fixed.

Sidenote: I have a note card in my hallway with little projects I know need to be completed. I've marked some off, but the master toilet was first on the list. There are others on there, too. 


I did some research and decided to try out a waxless seal. It was supposed to be less messy, and still pretty inexpensive. The reviews were great, and the installation seemed like a breeze, so I decided to purchase one. I took it home, and it sat in the chair until my Partner In Crime could come to help me with the project.

Another sidenote: As a farmer, the Partner In Crime is busy as crap from May to December. Patience is a virtue here if you need help. Especially with things that are like this...function, and not immediate. This is by no means a flaw, I just wanted to point this out as background information. I digress.

I was home after a minor post nasal/sinus procedure and decided to clean my bathroom since I felt like I needed to get up and move around. As I was working, I said to myself, "you know, I bet I could do that toilet thing by myself. Then I wouldn't have to bother the PIC with it. Then it's done, and I can also take credit for doing my first big home thing by myself."

No. I wasn't high on pain meds, but it sounds like it. I am pretty handy, but I just lack confidence. I thought maybe this was something I could do to boost my confidence. So I fired up Google and YouTube and decided I could do it.

I shut the water supply off. Drained the toilet, well most of it. Then I loosened the bolts and pulled the toilet up dumping the remaining water in the bowl all over the floor. Great start. I bolted across the house to my old towels and cleaned that up quickly, and then tried again and got the toilet off the base and moved over.

How. Gross. Is. That. Thing. On. The. Floor.

The YouTube lady told me to take a butter knife and remove the old wax ring. So I did. It solidified my reason behind trying the non-wax version because this was a mess. I got it all scraped off the floor, and I was looking at a clean-ish PVC ring down into the sewer hole.

I got this.

So I took my waxless ring out and read the instructions, watched a video, and then stopped.

Things weren't matching up. The way they wanted me to install this thing had my toilet facing the shower. Um. That's not going to work. I kept reading, but it just wasn't going to add up.

Damn. I was going to have to call in reinforcements.

Fast forward a couple of hours and PIC is working on getting the toilet put back, but it's not working. It's still wobbling. He's stumped. So, he does some brainstorming and we figure out the PVC thing is not secure, and the toilet won't sit. "Let's just go get some concrete bolts at ACE, and I'll bolt it to the floor, and that should work."

Off to ACE, we went, but on the way there his plumber buddy called us. "You can do exactly what you're going to do, but that non-wax ring won't ever set right. You'll just need to get a wax ring."

Damn. Well, I tried.

So we went to the store and picked up a new wax ring and four blue concrete bolts, and a bit for my drill that will go into concrete. When we got back home, my little drill was working pretty hard drilling into the concrete slab beneath my house, until it ran out of batteries. So, PIC went and got a better drill at his place and returned a few minutes later to finish the job. It's about 10 p.m. at this point, and I feel pretty sad this is taking so long.

The new drill works perfectly, and quickly, and then the bolts went in, and the wax ring went on the bottom, and I now have a non-moving toilet. It's pretty exciting.

We only lost one washer down the hole, and almost lost a screwdriver.

I cannot thank PIC enough for coming to fix my toilet, and bailing me out (like normal) when I think I can do something of that caliber when clearly I needed help. However, I learned a lot, and that's what is essential.

I'm definitely a "show me, and I can figure it out" for next time person.

So, the next time I need to tear a toilet out, I'll have it entirely under control.