Tampa travel log - day one...

I made it to Tampa, but not without some quality blog material, and this was just a travel and set up day. The real event hasn't even started yet.

I consider myself a frequent traveler and I have the Delta SkyMiles card to prove it. However, this was my first trip flying from Wichita, and I know why - second hand planes. I think they got this one off a used plane lot. I don't ask for much in a plane, but a strange brown blotch inside the overhead light is a little odd. Although the pseudo chocolate was not as odd as our flight attendant.

We'll call him - Ramone - I think Ramone may be Romona when the sun goes down and Romone's demeanor was a little left of "bitchy" when the flight started and then what can only be described as some sort of mood swing took place and he was right of "bitchy."

A gate attendant came onto the plane to ask if anybody had lost an e-reader. It was in the middle of Ramone's safety gimmick and after the attendant left he actually said into the PA, "sorry for that little enter-up-tionn. It was followed by a dramatic sigh into the receiver and at that point I was waiting for him to pull out a Delta red boa and start singing show tunes. Hey, I dig being different and marching to your own drum, but it's not everyday you get a hug from a flight attendant after being passed three snacks (my travel companion got the hug and the grub). Hence, the confusion regarding his mood. Are you happy? Sad? Do you even want to be on this flight today?

Romone was quite super fabulous, but he was no match for Snoop Dogg's brother - Sleuth Puppy. He was a great flight attendant, but he looked like he was in a Wayans Brothers movie - playing the part of the flight attendant in order to hitch a free ride cross country back to Compton, while running from the crazy peeps in some mass mix up of communication that would ultimately lead to a funny ending to a messed up plot. Not hatin, just sayin - I was on soul plane, minus the disco ball.

We hitched a cab downtown to our hotel. I thought maybe by the time we arrived at the Hyatt I would be able to decipher the smell hoovering in the cab. No dice. I still can't tell you what it was.

The hotel, now that's where the day got weird.

We get our room key, head up and the key won't work. We went through the reprogramming process twice and on the third time they sent up Dino to handle the issue. Dino was from ey-jin-eering. He was stumped, because according to his calculations the room we were trying to get into was occupied. Dino can't figure out what is going on so he calls the front desk and they tell him that nobody is in the room.

"Yes, but the jello light ita blink 12 times. Summabody in da room. The 12 blinks means itsa locked from inside."

What do you say to that? Well, my immediate thought was "how about an upgrade?"

We no get no upgrade. We did get into our room though after a lady came into the hallway in her curlers (set like grandmas set them).

"You guys trying to get into that room?"

Uh, that's why we've been at the door trying the key for the last thirty minutes and the front desk keeps calling the room to find out who is in it. We tell her yes.

"I'm in an adjoining room, and that adjoining door is open, so I'll go see if I can let you in."

"She's helpful," my travel companion says.

"She's gotta be a farmer," I reply.

Presto, the door opens and curler lady explains to us that when they checked in the adjoining door was wide open. She didn't feel safe having the door open so she locked our door - hence the illusion that someone was in our room. She said she "didn't think she had to worry about being safe anymore," which I took to mean we looked pretty normal.

"Are you here for Commodity Classic," she asked and we answered yes and told her we worked for High Plains Journal. "Oh, yeah, I know all about the Journal. We've been taking it for 35 years or more."

Curler lady was a subscriber!

We should have known, helpful ladies in curlers are a dead giveaway.