Friday, April 1, 2011

Farm-ah-knees...

Farmers have their own language and in the agriculture industry you have to learn to speak it, or at least understand it - I'm glad I'm bilingual.

Working where I do I have the privilege to keep up on my farm-ah-knees (the language of the American farmer). Whenever they give us a call it's a perfect opportunity to sharpen the language skills, and once in a while you'll get a good chuckle.

"You realize that my subscription will out live me."
Translation: I have yet to acquire the ability to say no when your circulation rep nabs me at a farm show/event.

"That's a little steep on price, don't you think?"

Translation: Even though I'd pay triple for it because I know it works, I want to make damn sure I can't get some type of discount first.

"You know, I had 100 bushel wheat at my place."
Translation: I know-that you know-I'm full of bull, but the guy standing next to you doesn't necessarily know that.

"I hit up every cattle sale I can."
Translation: Since I'm semi-retired and my boys won't let me do much, I go drink coffee with the same type of folks at the sale barn - in four counties.

"My wife doesn't let me use the checkbook anymore."
Translation: I forget to write down a $5,000 check once, just once, and suddenly I'm deemed "irresponsible" with our funds.

"I only buy brand X, it's the best."
Translation: My son sells it.

"That there's pretty neat."
Translation: I have no idea how to use it.

"Is it okay if I bring the wife?"
Translation: I'm hoping the steak dinner you'll be serving will classify as date night.

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