Assuming is dangerous...

You should never assume because it makes an ass out of u and me.

Lesson learned from the following assumptions.

Hotel reservations - never assume they are correct unless you made them yourself. Otherwise you'll end up one night short on a stay only to be put up in a smoking room with an air purifier that "takes the nastiness out" (per the hotel desk representative). The plus side, two ash trays to pitch chewed gum.

Hotels have a credit card on file - if this doesn't happen you'll be scrambling for cash when room service delivers. Side note: I have never chewed so slow in all my life, but when you pay $23 for a seven inch cheese pizza (think Book It!) and a Sierra Mist you want to savor every last morsel.

Nicer hotels have better amenities - A Super 8 will typically have free wireless. At a four-star hotel though, you'll pay anywhere from $9.99 to $16.75 for 24 hours of service.

Flat screen televisions are the norm in hotels - Maybe in that Super 8, but chances are it's a crap shoot for any hotel room over $89 a night.

A rate of $249 per night gets you a clean room- Again, this is kind of a dice roller here. My experience says no, and I figure it's because the rooms are so expensive nobody ever stays in them. If nobody stays, nobody cleans and dust collects on white porcelain.