The dress...

I had the honor of helping my first (ever) roommate celebrate her wedding day as a member of her bridal party, and this meant a bridesmaid dress. Yes, there is hilarity here - there is even hilarity in the Maid of Honor's tan.

Let me elaborate on the bridesmaid dress first. I'll just be blunt here and say that I screwed up and measured myself wrong. Yes, that was probably my first mistake. I shouldn't have measured myself, but we needed measurements fast and it was the weekend. So we used Google and did what we thought was right. Sis read the tape, and I passed on the sizes. 

Once the bride went to order the dresses she called me back. 

“Are you sure your measurements are right,” she asked, and I could tell by her voice she was questioning me. To be real honest I was questioning myself.

“Yeah, I looked up how to do it and had sis read the tape,” I explained.

“So you’re pretty sure they’re right?”

“Yep, pretty sure,” I answered - I should say I lied. 

“Okay,” she said, with a little hesitation in her voice. I knew she wasn’t at all confident in my measurements, but I didn’t have the time—or luxury—to just go get measured again.

Fast forward a couple weeks and I was in Wichita with her to look for a veil. The Maid of Honor, me and the bride went into the dress shop to look at a veil and I got measured by a pro. The outcome wasn't good. We discovered they ordered a dress about eight sizes too large. We'd have to do some major alterations. 

"Maybe you could give me the extra dress and I can make a dress for my daughter," the MOH laughed, and by this time we were all laughing about the whole deal. Because come to find out the bride called the MOH and asked how she should tell me that "there was no way you were that big." 

When I picked up the dress and went for my alterations I didn't even have to unzip the dress to try it on for the first time. I had to hold it up to me as I walked out in the lobby area to have her start pinning. It took both hands for her to gather the fabric around me to start pinning. 

“We take more,” the alteration lady said shortly and continued to pin.

Fast forward a few more weeks and it was time to get into the dress at the church. I did unzip it this time to get in it, but when I did it wasn't very snug to my chest. The MOH pinned me into my dress to keep the bra from showing and the dress sliding down. It worked, unlike the spray tan the MOH got the week before the wedding. 

"I stood too close," she said. "I looked like Carrie!"

This is when the bride started to hysterically laugh when she found out about the spray tan incident.

"You stand on the stars," the bride said through laughter.

"No, I stood up next to the nozzle," she said. "I ran out and was panicked. "Somebody get that girl! I have a big problem."

Luckily the big problem was hardly visible. What was visible were the huge tears we had in our eyes as we laughed so hard it hurt. Who knew two of three bridesmaids could have such big issues getting ready for the big day.