KARL graduation...

KARL Class XII graduation, April 18, 2015. 

Well, we made it through two years and everybody made it out alive.

It's bittersweet really. I will miss some of these folks terribly, and I will miss looking forward to our monthly sessions. However, our leadership and application of all the things we have soaked up over this time are all about to really take off. Who knows where some of us will be going, or what we'll do, or who we'll impact.

This program has had such an impact on me. Professionally it gave me an outlet for ideas, and has given me other professional role models. But, I would say this program has given me more than I can ever begin to write. My acceptance into Class XII came at the right time, personally.


I'll admit it. Two years ago was the start of some pretty uncertain times. I was just starting to feel like I wasn't happy. I couldn't put my finger on it, but something just wasn't right. Work was OK (that's really all I had out in Dodge City, but we'll expand on that later) and I was on the go constantly. I felt like I just couldn't get my head above water, and I hated that feeling, but you don't feel things you power through them!

The day I got the call from Jack telling me I'd been accepted into Class XII I was pretty excited. I'd been interested in doing the KARL program after learning about Class XI from my then sorority advisor. She had told me about the things she was doing, seeing, and the people she was meeting and said she thought maybe someday I'd be a great fit for the program. "You have the personality for it," she had said with a smile. Fast forward twelve years or so and now I'm a member of the KARL family.

Family is exactly what it became.

As I muddled through the two years things were still not great personally. I found myself looking forward to KARL seminars all over the state, and I used those as a carrot, and end goal. "If I can just get through the week, I can see my friends." That's when I knew I had a problem.

I am what most would describe as a mild workaholic. I am on 24/7. I thought about work all the time. I let hobbies become a second thought, and I had my phone attached to me at all times. I wanted to fit into the culture of work, I wanted to get ahead, I wanted to be a go-to, I thought that all meant success. Well, I found out the hard way. It doesn't mean squat. It means you start to dread getting up in the mornings, and you lay around at night instead of getting up and doing something, you stop giving a damn about anything.

I had done it. I had let work become my life. In my defense, it's easy to do as a single gal, living far away from family and friends, and not a whole lot to do. It wasn't me. I didn't feel like me. I struggled internally about what to do. I knew I was miserable, my friends knew I was miserable, and I'm sure my family knew it, too. How do you fix it when you have to be responsible? You change it.

I was standing on the top of Table Mountain overlooking the city of Cape Town, South Africa and the Atlantic Ocean. A classmate was sitting on the rock I was leaning on and we were just silent taking it all in.

"What are you thinking about?"

"Life," I said. "I feel like I haven't done anything yet."

"Sure you have."

"I don't know. I just don't feel that way sometimes. That's the thing about a group like this. You come in and think you've got some experience with life, that you've done some cool things, and then you meet people who have done so much more. It makes you want to do those things."

"Well, you just have to start making that list and checking things off."

I'm making that list now, and one of those things is taking care of me. Listening to me, and not worrying about anything or anybody else. I realized that I was given this opportunity for a reason. I met the people I met for a reason. You know the Rolling Stones say you don't always get what you want, but you get what you need? Well, I needed a support system. I was given one.

I learned so much about relationships and people and how to manage expectations. It taught me that I don't always have to be in control, and how to accept and not expect. It's not about lowering your standards, it's about realizing that you can't always change situations, and you can't change people - so you just have to change yourself. You have to change how you react, or adapt.

The biggest take away for me these past two years is to slow down and enjoy it, and I thank the 30 people I call family for making me better.