El Wal-Mart-o...

I wanted to write this blog sooner, but a certain communications company kept me from updating.

I needed a television. I needed a plastic cup. I needed some snacks.

I accomplished two of three, which is pretty good considering I had never ventured to the Dodge City supercenter. When I got there I was treated to nothing but chaos - with an accent.

Before I walked in the door I knew I was in trouble because the hours of operation are first listed in Spanish. In fact, several times I had to look down the sign for English. Not bad, just different. How many times would I even get an English version in say...Mexico City (and not visiting a resort, I'm talking downtown). Yes, that would be zero. I would only accomplish one thing and that would be ripped off or tortured.

I wanted a plastic cup to take to work. A plain tumbler, nothing fancy. Wal-Mart apparently doesn't carry such items. I combed the store and found nothing resembling what I wanted. I was so frustrated I could have screamed.

My frustration turned into irritability when these kids were running through the aisles, their mother chasing them screaming something that sounded like gibberish, at a speed that would make the Micro-Machine's guy dizzy. I wanted to trip the little brat, but dealing with a communication barrier while telling someone they are unfit - I just didn't have that kind of time.

And then I went to electronics. If I was irritable when I entered the department, I was flat pissed when I left.

It took fifteen minutes to get anyone to even notice I was looking at televisions. Normally they pounce before you even make it to the back wall. The first sales guy came over, or rolled over, and I couldn't understand him. Lucky for me some college kid that looked like he was there on religious scholarship intervened and I could communicate. God was looking out for me, and the sales guy because I was about to come uncorked. I told him what I wanted, which they didn't have - so I settled for something else, which was supposedly the last one in the back. I wanted to ask about a delivery truck, but Dodge is so far out here I imagine delivery trucks only make bi-monthly trips for fear they will be stranded.

I digress.

Apparently you have to pay for electronics before you take them out of the department. I wouldn't know because I haven't bought electronics since you could take them out of the department. So, the guy asked me if I wanted to pay now or finish shopping. I told him to hold it, I needed the television and it was the last one in the store they were selling. My luck someone would come by and sweet talk him in a language I couldn't understand and I would lose it. He held it.

When I returned after my shopping was complete I waited at the counter for a good ten minutes for someone to come check me out. The longer I stood, the more irritated I got. Managers and employees walked by in drones, yet nobody seemed to notice the lone person waiting at a cash register. Pissed me off.

Unfortunately a manager noticed and came over. I say unfortunately, because I probably could have ran the register better. Blindfolded. With my toes.

"I only do this once a month," he said, trying to justify his stupidity. No justification needed for me because his stupidity was more than obvious. Not only was he ignorant on the register practices, he was a nerdy guy who thought he was cool. It wasn't helping my mood. It only solidified my belief that any idiot can be a manager at Wal-Mart and they are unable to perform menial tasks. The same "failure to complete tasks" that they write people up for.

He reminded me of Napoleon Dynamite's brother Chip - only dumber and less cool.

I hope to avoid that place, but much to my displeasure - it's all I got. I will just have to try to schedule my shopping around Chip and his work schedule.