Magic night...

I've never ran with the bulls in Spain, nor do I want to, but last night I was chased by 1900 plus pounds of crazed, foaming at the mouth creatures and I didn't even have to leave Dodge City.

Magic Mike opened nationwide in theaters last night.

I caved to peer pressure. I took a group of gals up on the offer to join them for dinner and the premiere because I figured if somebody made a Facebook event over the ordeal that maybe it would be fun and a chance to meet some new people. Well, I met some new people and it was interesting.

If you've never heard of Magic Mike you obviously live under a rock, so I'll fill you in. It's a movie about male strippers. For those of you who are familiar (and maybe joined in the premiere fun) let me just say I'm sure that the movie has some sort of plot or storyline. I just didn't get it because I couldn't hear half the movie over the screaming women in a packed theatre.


That's right. Women screamed, whistled, purred, giggled, and growled during every show scene - which was pretty much the entire movie. I knew we were in trouble when the opening scene shows a butt. You would have that butt was standing in front of them. It went berserk. That's when I missed the next five minutes of dialogue, or at least until he put on his pants - and that's when a women yelled "no, don't put those on."

I wish I was kidding.

Ten minutes into the movie I wasn't sure what to think. I was awkwardly embarrassed for some of these women, then again maybe I should have been embarrassed because I was the only one that wasn't acting like I had never seen a shirtless male before.  

I just don't understand it. I'm certain most of the women in the theatre are smart, successful, and stable (at least the group I was with is) and yet, they completely lost their minds last night. Before I even got to the theatre I was told to "loosen up and have fun" a couple of times and when I said something about the cast not doing much for me I was asked if I was really female. Last time I checked I was, sorry if I don't cat call a movie screen. 

I did have fun laughing at all the ridiculousness that went on around me. Right after the first scene a dark screen comes up and it appears the movie has stopped for a moment before a credit comes up and some lady yelled out, "what the f**k" really loud as if the movie was just a teaser and she wasn't thrilled. Another couple ladies were yelling, "take it off!" Then comes Matthew McConaughey and the cougars in the crowd could hardly be contained. I can't even repeat what I heard during his shining moment of...taint'ness. All I could do was shake my head and try to listen harder so I could actually get the movie's dialogue.

So my observations for the night were: if you are going to see the movie, expect insanity. You can also expect not to hear much of it. They should have just put subtitles on it. At least I could have read the dialogue. I can appreciate a good looking actor without a shirt - and what appears to be Photoshopped abs - but I can do it quietly.

Then again, maybe I have a malfunction for being disappointed that I didn't get all the dialogue to string the plot together.

Which brings me to my final observation. Maybe I do need to loosen up a little.