I value money. Which, is why I decided to pay $94 round trip to ride the train back east to Topeka.
This wasn't my Amtrak maiden voyage by any means, but I really had to think long and hard before I made the commitment to go rail instead of paying God only knows for gas. Let's face it, $94 is a steal when it comes to a five hour trip. I can't drive it for that, so I figured I'd put my faith in the rail and booked my ticket - early.
The past two times I have taken the train I've ridden upper level coach. It's pretty similar to a cattle truck. Lots of butts crammed in to a fairly small space that has a tendency to sway back and forth slightly. And, believe it or not some people do moo. It's average, but much like economy coach on an airplane the concept of comfort is not exactly a priority.
This time I decided for about four extra dollars I could go ghetto first class. It's more comfortable, but you don't get the sweet perks like flying. In lower level coach there are only 14 to 16 seats as opposed to 40, and you don't have to drag your belongings up any small narrow staircases. Let's just say - I'll never go upper level coach again even if there is not a drink slave at my service.
My ride east was quite interesting. There was a gentleman who was sprawled out in the front row with his C-PAP machine working its magic to the similar tune of Darth Vader doing karaoke. There was also a woman laying between two seats with her nasty talons hanging out into the aisle. She had taken her shoes and socks off. Her bare feet were hanging out in the open. There was a lady behind the talons that was laying on the floor. I will just point out that the floor of a train is the last place I would ever lay down.
There was also a very confused, half sleeping woman who kept shouting, "where are we? What stop is this?"
"We're in Dodge City, Ma'am," the guy taking my ticket told her.
"Newton?" She groggily answered.
"Dodge City!" He shouted back.
"Why aren't we in Newton?" I was slightly concerned about her mental state at this point.
"We haven't gotten that far yet," he answered.
At least there were only six people in the lower level car. There was also a couple that got on in Dodge City with me, and they sat in the front and were silent the rest of the way. I like those kind of people.
As I dozed in and out of reality I felt us stop in the middle of nowhere. This is when I opened my eyes and wondered why we were stopped in complete darkness. It was at that very moment a freight train buzzed next to us. If you've never had a fast-moving train buzz your head (whether a window separates you or not) it's crap-your-pants startling.
Once I caught my breath I was able to doze back off until we arrived closer to our destination. As the train started to tilt I came too. It was at that time a short woman came barely through the doors and stopped at my seat, checked out the ticket above my head and said, "10 minutes to Topeka" in a voice that was conducive to nine packs of smokes per day.
I got up, got my things and made my way toward the doorway much like you would ride a hay trailer - very carefully as you redistribute weight in order not to face plant the floor. Once I hopped out of the train (it's basically like a tuck and roll) I got to the car and was greeted with a nice sausage McMuffin and the feeling of being hungover - for three days - due to the lack of sleep.
Thank God I was able to get a slight siesta before boarding Monday morning at 12:30 a.m. for my 5:15 a.m. arrive back to my origination. The ride back was great until getting off the train in Dodge City where it was a nice crisp 40 degrees and they let us off about nine miles from the gate out to the parking lot.
Nothing like a nice hike to get the blood flowing early in the morning.
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