A tenement on wheels...

Dad bought a camper.

We don't camp.

Ah, this is the kind of material that makes blogs fun to read. 

It was kind of an accident, and to be honest a pretty funny story. This story should serve as a lesson in Farm-ah-knees (the language of farmers). This story is also a lesson in tossing statements into the wind, and serves as a good reminder that not all people can pick up on the gift of sarcasm. It also is proof that this family does what they say they'll do. He danced. He pays the band. 


"I bought us a camper," Dad said.

"A what? Did you say camper? Like, an RV?" I asked.

"A fifth wheel," he said.

"I don't understand. You don't camp. We don't camp," I said, slightly confused.

"Well, it's kind of a funny story," he started. "I went in to buy feed and they were talking about moving some stuff around to make some room for the new construction."

"And, how does a camper fit in to this?" I am waiting for the funny part of the story.

"You remember that camper that used to sit there, down in the weeds," he said.

"Yeah," and then it hit me. "Seriously?"

"Well, I was kind of joking around and shot my mouth off and told him I'd give him $500 for it and he said it was worth more so we had a good chuckle out of the deal," he explained. "And, a few months went by and the next time I went in to buy feed I found myself with a camper."

"Holy. Sh*t. This only happens to you," I said. Dad chuckled.

"It has a generator in it," he said. "That's probably worth twice the camper."

"Uh, really?"

"Well, I couldn't really go back on the offer, could I? It was my fault for being a smart ass." 

Fast forward in time a couple months. There was not a whole lot to do one Saturday when I was home and we loaded up in the truck and headed to the parked camper. A few weeks prior they had tried to move the camper to the tire shop (because, surprise! it needs new tires) and the fifth wheel slide they tried wouldn't fit. Dad's a problem solver, so he borrows another truck from the local Chevy dealer with a slide and we're going to attempt to move the trailer across town. We didn't go at this alone. We called in our good buddy Dave to help.

We get to the trailer and that fifth wheel slide won't work either. This does not make Dad happy, but there is another solution. The bargain recreational pull-behind came with a custom slide (already the value of the purchase has doubled) and they'll have to try mounting that slide into Dad's pickup to move the trailer (likely one time).

The trailer wasn't moving, but we did have the keys so we unlocked the door and waited with great anticipation. I expected a family of racoons, or a nest of snakes (we probably would have just burned the camper). I was pleasantly surprised. I think we all were. It wasn't in horrible shape.

The camper is missing a window because an escaped convict from the county jail was running from law enforcement, broke the window, and slept in there one night. True story. Of course the camper needs some work. It has been sitting for about 10 years, but it could have been a heck of a lot worse.

We won't be camping any time soon, but hey, maybe some day. 

Why yes, I did take photos.

Of course the tires had to be pumped up before we could even think about moving it. Dad tried to get air in and Dave had to try and move the tire so it would take air. This was more than slightly entertaining.

This is the window knocked out by the convict. You can't make this stuff up.

The cabinets are not empty. Mom found dishes, linens, supplies, and a few other things.

"We may have a slight water leak." This was the only part of the camper in "bad" shape.

A nice little table. They locked it up and left it, basically. The orange carpet was interesting. Very retro.

"It has a tub, too!" This is where I expected the family of racoons to greet us.

Dave said it best. "I feel like I just walked into the Brady residence."